You're worth it
It was my time. I am big on self love and time for yourself but recently it has been hard to come by. I have an incredibly supportive husband, but my little one is so far from being independent (a story for another day). So tonight was my time. Luckily with the encouragement of my good friend, I signed up for a Soul Cycle class. Everything that could go wrong did. Class got canceled and I had to switch times, the kids' colds took a turn for the worse, Austin screamed, cried and clung to me and begged me not to leave. Thankfully my husband shoved me out the door and sent me on my way.
Today I gave into the hype and I tried my hand at Soul Cycle in Los Gatos. Scared to death I walked in and forced myself to be the social person I am so far from being. Having never set foot on a bicycle in years, I was quite intimidated by how fancy everything was in the studio. Thankfully they killed the lights or I would have ran out of that that seat the minute they cranked the music.
The instructor was sweet and so positive, but in my head I kept saying he has to be that way. The music flowed and we bounced in our seats, sweat dripping from every single part of my body, pouring out. I kept going. There was no stopping. Then the overly enthusiastic instructor said 3 words that stuck with me. "You're worth it". That sent me cycling towards the mirror like I was shot out of a cannon. Throwing the weights out, as I punched one, two, one two. After I stepped off the bike, I was drenched in sweat, proud of myself and most of all eager for more. I learned more about myself during that one class than I ever imagined.
I am worth it. I am worth it. I kept saying it over and over. I put my babies first, my husband first, the whole world first. But you know what. It was my time.
My husband and I have been encouraging each other to stop being who we have to be and start being who we want to be. We have both stumbled into new adventures that are so similar to one another but both so far from where we started. He is pushing forward and succeeding. I am his super fan as he is mine.
Tonight when I walked through the door of tired tears and bed time, I remembered one thing/ I am worth it. They need me, I need me.